When the opportunity to present your case to the promotion / hiring committee arrives, your heart starts beating fast… 

Because, ever since you were a girl, you knew you wanted to be known for being excellent at what you do. 

When you find yourself in the loop of overworking but hesitating to advocate for what you want in your career… 

This doesn’t mean you can’t negotiate (we all become negotiators the moment we learn how to say "No" at the age of two)

Or that you don’t have the "right" personality to be an influential leader (being loud and extroverted is NOT a leadership requirement)…

It's not your fault that, as a woman or a minority or an immigrant, you internalized the narrative that unless you do things just "right," you'll be unliked, unwanted, unsafe.

If you're like me, this started from when you were a kid.

"Instead of thinking about networking as a way to get something out of someone, you can think about it as a way of being a PORTAL," a client told me this week. 

I love that so much, I'm stealing it. 😉

My client routinely works with the C-suite. She works among executives and will become one herself. 

But before coaching with me, whenever she had to interact with the CEO (which is on a fairly regular basis), she'd freeze up in high levels of anxiety 🥶 -- her mind spiraling, her jaw clenched, her palms cold and wet. 

My coaching practice is inspired by this spicy  ajumma — Korean word meaning "auntie," usually referring to a mother with strong elbows and IDGAF attitudes.

But let me share with you a cautionary tale about negotiating like an ajumma —

Read more for the full story.

In the latest episode of Negotiate Your Career Growth podcast, I sat down with Jordan Sale, founder of pay equity startup 81cents (now part of teamrora.com) to discuss the ins and outs of both salary and severance negotiations.

A client of mine, Mi-Yeon, recently got promoted to SVP of Sales. The first woman to hold the position at her company. 

It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. 

Here are three key things we worked on in coaching to make her promotion a reality. 

For my clients Ellie and Janae, the crucial piece to making their self-advocacy a success was first gaining agency over their emotions, so that they felt LESS anxiety and MORE confidence. 

Read more to find out what they said to get the most out of their self-advocacy at work.

Dr. Linda Babcock of Harvard Kennedy School (along with other really smart PHDs) has published academic papers that prove women can close gender pay gaps when they use one or more of the following strategies. 

Have you tried them? 

When it came to engaging in informal coffee chats with the company COO, or when I sat down 1:1 with my direct supervisor or an industry mentor to talk about the career growth I wanted for myself... 

I'd inexplicably find myself tongue-tied and unsure of myself, with a lump of anxiety pressing into my throat and stomach.  Here’s what I learned since then.

I was recently asked,

"My boss seems distant and cold since I asked for a pay raise. Have I shot myself in the foot?" 

Here’s my answer.

Did you get passed over for a promotion?

If your sexist and racist employer doesn’t acknowledge your contributions or your potential, CHANNEL your well-founded anger to TAKE ACTION. 

HERE are three options that you can take.

Money is simply a bonus byproduct of having honored the limitless capacity of the human mind and soul, of having cultivated courage and conviction in the face of difficult circumstances. 

Honoring your humanity and taking courageous action enable you to be gainfully employed, to be present and available to those you love when you're not working, so you can experience the joy of a well-lived life.