How to Deal with Fragile Male Egos and Snag the Promotion

A client of mine, Mi-Yeon, recently got promoted to SVP of Sales. The first woman to hold the position at her company. 

It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. 

Here are three key things we worked on in coaching to make her promotion a reality. 

1. Choose your battle wisely. Play the long game. 

Competent and ambitious, Mi-Yeon’s track record as VP grew faster than her male colleagues (whom I’ll call Matt and Steve). They saw her as a threat. 

In leadership meetings, they shot down her ideas. In group emails, they criticized her initiatives. 

It was beyond frustrating. A lose-lose situation. Fighting back would invite only gender blow back. 

Mi-Yeon decided to choose the high ground, to keep her eyes on the prize. 

After all, Matt and Steve’s attacks weren’t about her. It was really about the fragile egos of less competent men. 


2. Redefine leadership. It isn’t about getting liked and respected by others. It’s about making choices and creating solutions. 

Mi-Yeon refocused. She stopped agonizing for hours while composing group emails, worrying, "What will cranky Steve say this time?" 

She stopped pressuring herself to the point of exhaustion, under the false notion that unless everyone — including mean Matt — is happy, then she’s not a good enough leader. 

As a result, her mental bandwidth opened up. Practicing techniques she learned in coaching, she started feeling more grounded in her confidence. 

She began to generate new ideas and executed them independently. Soon victories piled up. She started closing more deals. 

She now had the ear of the Founder, who was partial to high performers. 


3. Negotiate the little things that make the big thing inevitable. 

Months ahead of the promotion, Mi-Yeon got strategic and negotiated for resources to help her be more effective in her current and future role. 

In 1:1 conversations with the Founder, she made the case for two additional headcount for her team, based on the potential ROI for the company — bigger clients signed faster. 

Her team, her confidence, her successes grew. 

When the SVP role opened up, she was a shoe-in, her promotion a done deal. 

Advocating for herself felt easy because she knew she's the best candidate for the role. 


Here's the takeaway. 

In your career journey, you will encounter them all -- fragile male egos as well as the ineptitude of people of all genders. 

You don't have to slow your roll or stoop down to their level. 

Because like my client, you too can learn how to build genuine confidence in yourself and to negotiate your career growth in a smart and strategic way.  

If that's what you want, I can help you. I help smart women who hate office politics get promoted and better paid by combining the best of negotiation strategies and practical neuroscience. 

To get started, book your free 1:1 consultation with me by CLICKING HERE. 

In this hour-long conversation, I will help you build your custom roadmap to career success. 

Talk soon,
Jamie