Myth of Depending on Other People

Are you at the mercy of other people’s opinions about you when it comes to getting promoted and better paid?  

Well, duh, you might say. 360 reviews would prove that. 

So how do you get people to see you in a new light? 

Here’s how: 

Don’t see yourself as dependent. See yourself as interdependent. 

Here’s why: 

When you think you are dependent on other’s opinions of you, you feel frustrated and resentful. 

So at work, you don’t initiate conversations with people you don’t yet know and like. 

When you don’t build relationships with people at different levels, you don’t have relationships you can leverage to get you to a different level. 

You don’t try to influence people in a genuine and compelling way. You see it as pointless politicking that’s beneath you. 

When you get passed over for a promotion, it just makes sense how unfair it all is. 

Because when you are dependent, you don’t have power. 

But you miss that you are interdependent. 

So is everyone else, including your boss who relies on you to deliver so that she can get her job done, just as you rely on her to lead. 

Clients, stakeholders, the company — they rely on you in a multi-faceted, symbiotic relationship where value is exchanged. You are interdependent. You have power. 

You have something they want — contributions, ideas, skills, connections that all translate to VALUE. 

Focus on your interdependence. Get curious about it. 

What if the CEO is waiting for you to come up with a technical solution, so he can share it at the upcoming board meeting? How are you interdependent with the head of Client Acquistion who must also contend with your dominating boss when she changes her mind yet again about go-to-market strategy? How do you share power with your cross-functional teammates who also want to see your ideas implemented, because it makes their jobs easier too? 

Interdependence sets the stage for mutual benefit negotiation. For the give and take. 

Interdependence is strength. One you already have. 

If you want to build this strength to get promoted and better paid, I can help you. 

Reach out for a 60-min consult, where I will help you identify your blindspots causing you to underutilize strengths you already have. Then I help you build a custom plan to communicate and negotiate with confidence. 

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