Oblivious and Overworked

I used to believe that I have to work twice as hard because I am a woman, an Asian, middle daughter of non-English speaking immigrants who worked seven days a week. 

Like all humans, I had absorbed messages from society that other people decide my worth. And to prove my worth, while being different and female, I had to do twice as much while taking up half the space of other people. As if my life didn't matter as much.  

On the outside, I'd say oblivious things like, "That's just the way it is," but inside I felt exhausted, defeated, powerless. 

I was often in a mind spin debating with myself whether I was the problem (oh, shameful) or whether other people were racist, sexist, and wrong (oh, righteous anger!). 

It seemed important to suffer this way, to be stuck in two terrible options. 

Here’s what I now know for sure: my worth is not for anyone else to decide. It is not negotiable. This is true for you, too. 

Sure, you can have a discussion about the value of your contributions that will require someone to agree -- we call that a negotiation -- but that has nothing to do with your worth as a human being, which is beyond dispute.  

All humans are born worthy. And they die worthy. Including George, Breonna, Ahmaud and more. Their lives mattered. Black lives do matter. Your life matters. 

To recognize injustice in the world is to also see the injustice we do to ourselves when we don't question the unconscious programming in our minds. 

When we do, we see there's no need to unintentionally discount ourselves, keep our voices and our desires small, or to feel shame for being different. 

There's no need to hand power to other people to decide our worthiness, our good-enough-ness, then to feel powerless when they don't do as we think they should. 

We access our power when we decide our own worthiness. 

Let's take power back, 
Jamie 

P.S. Shout out to my client Hari who shared this testimonial: 

Prior to working with Jamie, I was tirelessly and exhaustingly working for external validation. That worked to an extent, but it was certainly not sustainable. Now, my perspectives have shifted. I can authentically be myself and declare my self worth & value to work without needing someone else to see it first for me. 

To me, her coaching sessions go beyond discussing the right strategies to influence the key stakeholders. It allows me to seek answers within me, and ultimately to realize that I've always had the power and control -- and the fun part is figuring out how to best utilize it.

P.P.S. I have the awesome privilege of serving women of all colors. I help them question their unconscious programming, so they can stop suffering emotionally and discounting themselves unnecessarily. 

I help them reconnect with their indisputable worthiness and to build confidence from the inside out. 
If that’s what you want, let's chat. I invite you to a complimentary 60-minute consultation. CLICK HERE TO APPLY