Women, Negotiating, and Self-Worth

"I’m afraid I’ll feel bad if they say no."

My client said what millions of women think about negotiating for ourselves. 

"I can’t do that." 

"It will be a blow to my self-worth if they say no." 

So we settle for feeling bad about not asking rather than feeling bad after hearing no. 

Even if settling means making less money. 

Even if hearing no could mean a later yes...and more money. 

The fundamental problem is two-fold: 

1) We’ve been taught to associate our income with our self-worth. This is wrong.

You are worthy. Period. 

No amount of money will make you more or less worthy. Your self-worth is non-negotiable. 

The value of your contributions, which exists outside of you — we can have a negotiation about that. 

We can think strategically about how to frame for value in a way that most resonates with your employer. 

And it has nothing to do with your self-worth. 

2) We’ve been told feeling bad should be avoided. 

As if we can avoid 50% of our human life. Not helpful. 

Imagine feeling bad was not a problem for you. 

You would be unstoppable. 

You would create courage to be bold and to advocate for you the same way you advocate for your child, your spouse, your bestie. 

You would be unstoppable. 

This is the work I do with my clients. 

I help my clients separate self-worth from net worth. 

I help my clients create a win-win strategy to articulate the value of their contributions in the most compelling way. 

I help my clients create emotional resilience so they can go from feeling bad to feeling no shame. From anxious to confident. 

If that's what you want, I'm here to help. 

Jamie 

P.S. "No one's getting promoted or raises right now." Yes, I've heard this, too. While it's true that some companies are putting a temporary hold on promotions and raises, this doesn't mean that you also put your personal and professional growth on hold. You can lay the groundwork NOW to set yourself up for success when you sit down to have career-changing conversations 3 to 6 months from now. You can start building your self-confidence NOW to manage up and manage down and to be an even more effective communicator. A woman leader, who without shame or guilt, articulates the value of her contributions and creates positive impact on the next generation of leaders following in her footsteps. 

I teach this to all my clients. You can learn it too. If that's what you want, let's chat. 
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