3-Minute Masterclass on Flipping No to Yes {Script Included}

The sooner we get to a "no," the sooner we get to a "yes." 

Research shows that women tend to hear "no" more often than men when we negotiate at work. 

That's why I teach a clear-eyed strategy to turn "no" into constructive dialogue. 

Below are the steps I recommend and a simple script to see this strategy in action. 

The All-Too-Familiar Situation

Picture this: You're a hard-working VP and the only woman (or person of color) on the executive team without a CXO title. 

You ask your boss for a promotion, and instead of a direct answer, you get something like: 

• "I'll have to think about that." 

• "That's a tough ask, and this isn't the best time." 

• "You're not ready yet." 

The usual response might be to push harder or let the conversation drop. 

But there's a better way. 

Pattern Interrupt: Get Curious Instead

Do this: 

1. Expect pushback. 

2. Meet it with curiosity rather than defensiveness. 

3. Instead of re-explaining your position, ask open-ended questions. Calmly delivered, these questions work like aikido -- the Japanese martial art that redirects the opponent's energy back to them. 

Shout out to Hiromi Matsuoka-san! (sourced here) 

Sample Script 

Here’s how this strategy might look in action:

[Scene: Chris, a VP, speaks with Pat, her boss and CTO, after an executive retreat.]

Chris, VP: Pat, I’ve been reflecting on our teamwork. Would you say I add value as a peer on the leadership team?

Pat, CTO: Yes, absolutely.

Chris, VP: I’m glad to hear that. It’s why I’d like to be considered for Chief Data Officer. What are your thoughts?

Pat, CTO: Well, you already have a lot on your plate. What would this title change?

Chris, VP: My core work stays the same, but the title would help me expand our external partnerships. How do you think I can best grow here?

Pat, CTO: Data is key to our growth. I worry that adding more responsibility could lead to burnout.

Chris, VP: I appreciate that. For me, lack of acknowledgment causes more burnout than the workload. When my work is valued, it drives me to excel. So, what do you think would help ensure my contributions are fully acknowledged?

Pat, CTO: I see your point. Let me discuss this with the CEO, and I’ll follow up with you.

Note: Pat’s response suggests follow-up, indicating that Chris moved the conversation forward, as the decision does require buy-in at multiple levels. 

Flipping "No" to Wins 

Here's how this skill has driven tangible outcomes for my clients: 

• Sarah turned a "no" from a recruiter into an informational interview with the hiring manager, ultimately landing a six-figure role that led to a promotion. Watch Sarah tell her story HERE.

• Amy turned "you're not technical enough" into a fast-tracked promotion after her boss recognized and apologized for his unconscious bias, resulting in 40% pay increase. Hear it from Amy on the podcast HERE. 

Ready to turn “no” into your next opportunity?

You're done letting "no" (the pushback, all the hemming and hawing, and the excuses) hold you back.

You're ready to equip yourself with the best tools possible to get past impasse, so you make greater impact.

If that's you, you're invited to book a free consultation, an hour-long conversation where I'll offer you your custom step-by-step plan to turn setbacks into stepping stones.

Click here to book your free consultation: https://calendly.com/jamielee/consult

And if you found this valuable, please share this blog post with your network -- they will thank you for it!